The Art of Transmutation
“The most important thing I can tell you about aging is this: If you really feel that you want to have an off-the-shoulder blouse and some big beads and thong sandals and a dirndl skirt and a magnolia in your hair, do it. Even if you're wrinkled.” -- Maya Angelou
Have you ever stood in front of a full-length mirror, naked and stared at your body? What face did you make at yourself…did you smile, did your mouth fall open as you scanned all the new lumps and bumps, maybe you burst into laughter at what was once propped is now drooped? Wrinkles, varicose veins, sags and bags…WHAT THE WHAT! Welcome to the world of getting older. We often hear that there is a beginning and an end; we are born and then we die. I prefer to think of it as the circle of life, as transmutation; changing from one state of being into another form.
I am an observer, I love to watch people. I especially love looking at people’s eyes. The eyes truly are the windows to the soul. It is in the eyes that you can see aging. You can also see beauty, love, hate, jealousy and longing. I saw in my mom’s eyes emptiness as she transmutated to a new beginning; some would say her life ended; but she changed into complete spirit. She is no longer in the physical world. In her older years, I know that she was frustrated at getting older. It seemed to begin when her doctor said, “Miss Brown, you are not still driving are you?” She was not so upset that he said it but that he said it in front of me; in that moment, I took her keys. I did not know that she was not to drive because of her vision. Ahh! vanity of vanities! Now, I look into my own eyes and that youthful light has diminished somewhat. No matter how much I stretch them wide or even smile hoping to brighten the light, I have to face the fact that I am older. As we age we go through various levels of transmutation and it is truly a bumpy ride for some. Life brings about situations, events, illnesses that can thrust you into aging but there is an art to aging and vanity should be controlled if you want to age gracefully.
It is in the mind that we find the art of transmutation. We are all changing whether we like it or not but in our minds, we determine how we will accept the changes. In my mind, I am still 21 years old but that youthful mind is flanked in wisdom because of life experiences. I only wish I had this wisdom when I was 21 years old. While my mind feels like 21 my body feels like 62; some days even older. I was feeling pretty spry until I experienced chemotherapy and it was as if all hell broke loose in my body. In the physical, it was as if I went from 60 to 90 overnight. Vanity said, “I DON’T LIKE THIS…I DON’T WANT THIS!” I want to be able to move like a gazelle, not wavering in my steps. I want to be able to get in the tub and not have to worry about how I was going to get out. I want to be able to go through the day without needing to take a nap. I want to be able to move and groove without hesitation. I decided to wrap my mind around the beauty that is still inside of me in spite of my physical challenges. I am finding my way to the art of transmutation.
The art of transmutation speaks to me: as you are is perfect; as you are is timeless, beautiful, sexy, loving and more. Life brings about changes and change is enlightening. My eyes may not have the light it once had but now my eyes project the light of wisdom and a new strength that I never thought possible. I still laugh, cry and pout but I do it all with an appreciation that I can still move even though the rhythm is different. I can still see the beauty of the trees and the flowers that bloom. I can still smell the roses and hear the laughter of children. I still appreciate this journey called life. I exercise the wisdom that I have been given which tells me that my life is not dictated by people but by God. I can still love those who do not love me. I have provisions that many in the world do not have and I can share what I have with those in need. I still have a purpose, a reason for being on the earth. It is all about accepting, embracing the inevitable no matter how fast it seems to come. You may not be able to wear what you use to wear, walk like you use to walk but you still have value and purpose. Aging is what it is…another change in the circle of life.
